How to Talk about a New York Prenuptial Agreement With Your Partner

Prenuptial agreements need a major brand overhaul. The widespread perception is that prenuptial agreements are for the protection of the mega wealthy as they marry and remarry and so on. Or that they preserve a power imbalance between the spouses. 

Nothing could be farther from the truth. We buy insurance for our health, homes, cars, and phones, it makes good sense to get in front of any potential risks to your marriage. 

Now you just need to have the talk with your partner. Here are some suggestions on how to get that conversation started. 

What’s in a New York Prenuptial Agreement?

Marriage is a partnership, but it can also be described as a merger. Like a business merger, it’s smart to have a plan for future eventualities. A prenuptial agreement is that plan. It’s a contract between you and your partner that is signed before you get married. 

In the prenuptial agreement, you and your partner set out the assets each of you possess. The agreement then sets out what rights and responsibilities each partner has during the marriage. It also states how the money and property will be divided in case you get divorced or if one or both of you dies. 

New York Law Determines the Property Division if Marriage Ends

New York law determines how property should be divided in the event a marriage ends  due to death or divorce. When you get married in New York you are already essentially agreeing to these laws. However, these laws are general and don’t take into account your unique situation. 

Suggest to your future spouse that it’s smart to be proactive and craft a prenuptial agreement that is customized and unique to the two of you. Again, marriage is a partnership and it’s also a merger. The analogies are financial for a reason as two party’s assets are involved.  

Honest Communication Makes for a Good Marriage

Discussing assets and finances in the midst of the excitement of wedding planning can be a delicate enterprise, but it’s smart and necessary and illustrates how shrewd and solid you are as a couple. 

Frame the discussion in the context of open communication. Married couples should be able to discuss anything calmly and rationally. Amidst the wedding ceremony and the celebration, it’s wise to discuss real-life topics like mortgages, insurance policies, and estates. 

Lay out your respective finances and any assets you may have. Talk about what will happen to them if either of you should die. Guide the conversation’s flow from there to a prenuptial agreement. 

Be the trendsetters among your friends. Soon, they will be following your lead and discussing these issues when they are getting married. 

When is a Good Time to Discuss a Prenuptial Agreement?

Good question. Everyone is flying high after an engagement and you don’t want to switch gears from celebratory to all business too quickly. After the engagement, lean into the excitement. Then, take a beat and propose having a healthy discussion about your mutual finances and the expectations that each of you have going forward. 

If each of you comes from a position of respect and honesty, the discussion should progress from there.